The fact that you are chronically “mr/mrs nice guy” is actually harming you & holding you back.
It’s keeping you from meeting your potential.
Here’s what I mean by the term Toxic niceness:
You are being toxically nice when you…….
-chronically say yes, when you really want to say no.
-chronically cower to other people’s viewpoints in conversation even though you vehemently disagree.
-chronically use your “niceness” to avoid being assertive & instead become passive…………
-coddle other people in their dysfunction & allow them to trod all over you.
-remain passive & soft when aggression and courage are needed……………
Toxic niceness is like kryptonite to Superman. It is corrosive. It kills the soul & prolongs the suffering of those who need you to stand up for them.
There is a time for all things under the sun. A time for being “nice” and a time to show some gumption.
I’m not advocating you become a total jerk, I’m simply saying you ought to strive for integrity and calculated assertiveness.
You can be kind without being overly nice.
(By the way, “Niceness” is subjective. What I think is nice behavior might not meet your quota and vice versa.)
You can be loving & firm while maintaining boundaries or enacting discipline.
Don’t be nice. Be selectively kind and assertive.
And like Teddy Roosevelt used to say “speak softly but carry a big stick”