Are you a Love Addict?
During the early days of any romantic relationship it is common to experience intense emotional & physical attraction. This is often referred to as “Infatuation”. Both of you only see the positives, life is glorious & your partner can do no wrong. As the relationship continues to grow these intoxicating feelings may begin to be replaced with a more balanced & steady dose of what some call “Committed Love”.
Some however never quite grasp the beauty of committed love and therefore do everything in their power to sustain the “rush” of infatuation. This may be you… maybe you jump from relationship to relationship, from rush to rush. Novelty is your thing…you need NEW and EXCITING or it isn’t “real love”. You ultimately interpret any decrease in intensity as meaning you are “no longer in love” with that person. You probably have a history of very intense relationships that never develop into long term committed ones. You may even pursue a series of brief, very intense affairs or one-night stands. In fact, in our culture this is often celebrated. What a joke!
Truth be told, you’ve been tricked. This is called “Relationship & Love Addiction” by clinicians and its a brilliant ingredient for misery & loneliness.
The rush you are seeking cannot be sustained no matter what you’ve seen in movies. The longing for deep romance, intimacy, & belonging can only be satisfied in good ole, committed, monogamous relationships… need I say it… Yes, ultimately in Marriage!!! If you haven’t met the right person yet, or are in a season of development and self-discovery, more power to you. Just remember, the infatuation rush is a smoke screen. Don’t buy it. Time to call a spade a spade.
Jonathan Rios MS LMHC
*My old Professor Dr Henry Virkler first introduced me to these concepts and thus deserves credit
